Tuesday, November 6, 2007

how to leave the perfect voicemail

1) Don't say your name. Just jump right into the good stuff. It will make the listener feel pleased that you think she will be able to recognize your voice. (Starting with "It's me" is always nice for establishing intimacy.)

2) Make some funny/sarcastic/wise comment about your current surroundings. Example #1: "Oh god, I just saw this weird girl walk into a shopping cart - I am totally serious." Example #2: "Hold on, I literally just stepped in the biggest puddle you have ever seen! My pants are like soaking now."

3) Take a momentary pause and then cut to the chase. Don't side-step. "So, yeah, I'm returning your call from last night about getting dinner tomorrow."

4) Make some convoluted excuse about why you waited until now to call. "I was tied up with a really long text message" or "I ate a really big sandwich and passed out" will not fly here. The more realistic, the better. (If you are out of ideas, you can always use the "Oh, I was in CCL where my cell phone doesn't get service" excuse.)

5) Mention something exciting and special you have to share with the listener. "I have a Kendra story you will not believe!"

6) End with a self-deprecating joke about the length of the voice mail.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why are people still leaving voicemails? We all have caller ID and know what calls we have missed or ignored. If the caller really needs to get a message to the person than they should send a text message, which takes ten seconds to retrieve while a voicemail takes an average of two or three minutes. I now have such an irrational hatred of my voicemail that I only check it when I have a new voicemail and a missed call from an unidentified caller. I am not sure if this trait is a new height of phenomenal laziness or a testament to how much I really detest the automated voice slowly and politely asking me to please enter my password. Why does she talk so slow?