So, as my roommate can attest to, I hit the proverbial wall about half an hour ago and desperately needed some coffee so that I wouldn't start drooling on my keyboard, head bobbing in that really weird I-am-falling-asleep-while-I-sit-in-a-chair way.
Little did I know that my coffee run would result in a truly excellent encounter!
Koffee on Audubon, 9:33 p.m.
I bound up to the counter, ears red because they are cold. Female employee with a shaggy black haircut and black nails greets me.
Me: Could I get a large iced coffee, please. . .?
She gets a cup and fills it with ice.
Me: You probably think I'm really weird for ordering an iced coffee today.
Shaggy Black Haircut: Naw, I got an iced coffee this morning. So I guess that means you are as weird as I am.
Me: Perhaps I am as weird as you.
SBH shudders visibly as she puts the lid on my coffee.
SBH: Sorry, I just hate the word 'perhaps.' Like I really don't like it.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea.
SBH hands me my drink and I hand her a $20.
SBH: I also hate the word 'moist.'
Me: Oh, well, that's more common. I know a lot of people who hate that word.
SBH hands me my change.
Me: Well, PERHAPS I'll see you later.
SBH: Jackass. You're cute.