Tuesday, November 17, 2009

the fall of a queen

So there's this girl who works at the Starbucks on my block who is like the Barista Wunderkind. The third or fourth time I stopped in for my morning fix (man do I hate the jargon commonly associated with coffee drinking!), before I could even open my mouth she was coolly reciting my order from her perch over by the stand where they leave your drinks. The other baristas at the register all kind of nodded their heads blankly as if it is just understood in this particular Starbucks that she is the queen.

This morning, eager to get that ole' cup of joe (ugh), I stopped in to Starbucks; as soon as the queen saw me come through the door, she was in motion. I watched rapturously as she effortlessly prepared my iced coffee, like some sort of Starbucks Fairy, her blonde hair the perfect amount of messy in her black cap. But my luscious piece of Starbucks Heaven was about to become as stale as a Starbucks bagel (hay-o!). As the queen delicately handed me my drink she paused and grinned. . . and then pointed at the iPod earbud in my right ear (I always take one earbud out when I'm in Starbucks because I am so courteous).

"What are you listening to?"

I felt as if someone had just broken into my apartment, or stolen my journal. Her seemingly innocuous question was like a MENTAL SUCKER PUNCH to my emotionally fragile self. I stammered for what seemed like ages while she KEPT HER HAND CLASPED AROUND MY DRINK, as if this was some sort of test I needed to pass to earn my FRENCH VANILLA ICED COFFEE.

In some situations I would have tried to think of the most "oh yeah, no big deal, it's just a Kraftwerk Hot Chip remix" or "you know, just some jazz I'm really into" kind of response I could come up with, but I was too shaken to even muster that sort of fibbing. Instead I just told her the truth: "Umm, it's just this, uh, indie cover of a T.I. song... that my brother sent me." I really can't even describe how IDIOTIC and TALL I felt. It was like I was in a commercial for some sort of TMI Disorder. THANK GOD SHE KNOWS MY BROTHER SENT IT TO ME.

I am guessing it will be at least two months before I step into that Starbucks again.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

She was just being nice! You HAVE to go back, or otherwise she'll think she should never be nice to anyone ever again!

Anonymous said...

I've been listening to that song all week, and I JUST CAN'T STOP. Damn you, Gossip Girl.

(And isn't the weather getting a little chilly for iced coffee?)

Unknown said...

you are super tall.

love love love

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