Thursday, November 12, 2009

a goddess, a model... and dry cleaning guy

Living in NYC is strange. Even though I technically live within like a 20-minute subway ride of pretty much everyone I know, I still see most of my friends way less the following crop of characters, each of whom has emerged as a pretty significant presence in my life. Of course, even though I see these folks like once or twice a week, I don't even know their names (= so New York right now).

1. Salad Goddess. Most of my lunch breaks are spent across the street from my office at this small, sterile deli place. I whip through the make-your-own-salad line without a word (the guy knows my order by heart - cute, right?) and then I bring my concoction over to the check-out area. There are two lines: one belongs to Salad Goddess - a cheery plum of a woman - and the other to Evil Bland Chick. Even though EBC will typically have no one in her line, I always wait in Goddess', which is kind of awkward because EBC will like look up at me exasperatedly. "I might as well give up!" she says with her eyes.... and she's right, she should. Because SG is on a different level. First of all, SG always deducts $.90 from my salad cost. I have NO IDEA why, but it's just always been the case and I obv have never asked for an explanation -- don't shoot a gift horse in the mouth, is what people are always saying (but which I never say because I am always worried I have it slightly off). SG and I have wonderful and inane convos marked by constant SMILING as she pushes buttons on the register:

Me: "Nice weather, huh?"
SG: "At least it's a Tuesday"
Me: "Seriously! When will this week end?"
SG: "Right, so chilly!"

Seriously the two weeks she was out visiting her family in Brazil I went somewhere else for lunch because I just couldn't deal.

2. Model Runner. Literally EVERY TIME I have gone to the gym in the past three months, this preternaturally attractive guy has been running on the fourth treadmill from the end. It doesn't matter which night of the week I go or at what time, he's always there, dressed in the same garb: black baseball cap, white V-neck t-shirt, short black shorts, iPhone attached to bicep. Despite all the seemingly toolish elements of this gym attire, he manages to look like a hundred times cooler than anyone else you have every seen. (The first time I saw him I BBMed my roommate: "I am pretty sure the guy running next to me is a Calvin Klein model" to which she responded "Touch him!" which somehow seemed totally appropriate at the time.) ANYWAY, the other day, MR picked up my towel for me when it fell off the side of the treadmill and kind of gave me a head nod (I'm pretty sure this interaction is the gym equivalent of a Facebook poke) and now we have a kind of head nod thing going on. I'm hoping this all pays off when I see pictures of him on Perez Hilton squiring Leighton Meester around town or something and then can use our bond for my PERSONAL GAIN.

3. Dry Cleaning Guy. This guy may be my fave. He's like 27 and has this improbable set of braces and he kind of seems like a hybrid between your 10-year-old cousin and an owl. He calls me "Joshy" which is like typically the #1 way to get me to act icy toward you but for some reason in this case is endearing. He is always acting all paternal ("How far are you going to have to carry these heavy shirts?!" "Long day at work?"). Once he asked me why I hadn't been in for a while and I kind of stammered like a schoolgirl and then he was like "We've been pinning for you." (Yes, "pin-ning" instead of "pie-ning," and the "we" referred to him and the old Asian man who has never said a word who leers in the back amongst the clothing). Once I came in and Air Supply was blasting over the speakers. I kind of did an imperceptible "well, that's weird" look and he just shrugged. "It's the only CD I've got, Joshy."

2 comments:

Sara said...

Awwwe... by the way, Joshy, it's "LOOK a gift horse in the mouth." Don't "shoot yourself in the foot."

xx

Anonymillipede said...

I definitely have a #2 also. We're not on nod level yet. Jealous.