behaviors I can't relate to

1. Writing "I miss your face" in any forum (Facebook wall, text message, etc.).

2. Wanting to exercise in any capacity (especially running on treadmills side-by-side) with a friend/significant other.

3. Referring to anything (especially people and GIFs) as your "spirit animal."

4. Beginning an e-mail with a reference to a half-hearted/failed attempt to meet up in the past before getting into the actual question/subject of the e-mail. ("We still need to get that coffee sometime!," etc.).

5. Making a "joke" about the number of jokes being made about the "rapture"/Anthony Weiner/Charlie Sheen/whatever.