1. As I approached a volunteer for some nonprofit up ahead on the street Tuesday, she extended her arms (nearly whacking me with her clipboard) and looked me right in the eye. "If I was drowning in water, would you save me?" she pleaded. I looked down and kept walking past her. "No, sorry," I said.
2. After leaving a rooftop party in Brooklyn on Saturday afternoon (#megaswag), I was craving a sugary drink. I stopped in a nearby deli and settled on a Pomegranate Pear Nantucket Nectars drink. I looked to my left and noticed this guy sizing up the beverage options. He turned to me and asked, "If you had unlimited funds, which of these drinks would you buy?" "Uhhh," I responded, trying to work out the connection between the two clauses. "I just sold my bike, so I have all this money," he explained. "I figured I'd buy a drink." "Oh, uh, well, I'm getting this pomegranate pear thing!" I said, before turning around and shouting "Good luck!" as I bolted to the register.
3. I was in line at Duane Reade yesterday and the woman at the front of the line was loudly complaining about the fact that they only had one register open. "This is a disgrace," she shouted, along with some other unintelligible stuff about "vacations," "brain-dead employees" and "deodorant." She continued ranting even as the cashier rang her up. After she left, the man who had been behind her in line (and in front of me) went up to the register. He took his receipt and then put his hands down on the counter and said to the cashier, in an eerie drawl, "Hang in there. It gets better." He walked out and, as I approached, the cashier just shook her head and widened her eyes. I couldn't think of anything to say so I tried to smile "empathetically" (though I'm pretty sure I just looked like I was trying to hold off a sneeze).
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