Thursday, February 21, 2013

best title i could come up with for this was "a list about words" :/

1. A few years ago I drunkenly told my friend that I thought his boyfriend seemed "kind of iconoclastic," which was not at all what I meant (I think I was going for "vain") and made absolutely no sense in context, but I think I just liked the idea of saying the word "iconoclastic" at a bar. My friend kind of shrugged, and something about that exchange has stayed with me forever since as a sort of minor private shame.

2. It dawned on me during a phone call the other day that over the past six months I've adopted a completely gross habit of caveating every other sentence I say with "... if that makes sense." Not only does it make you sound totally willowy (idk), it's also, of course, implicitly fishing for an affirmative response: so, double the grossest.

3. I've noticed that it doesn't matter who you're talking about or what the situation is, if you refer to someone as "humorless" in conversation, the person you're talking to will nod emphatically in agreement.

4. It's hard not to be suspicious of anyone who uses the word "lovely" too much. Whenever I say it, I feel like I'm doing a bad Mariah Carey impression.

 5. Recently I was walking into a bagel place with a friend of mine. I was setting up a story and, every time I'd pause, she'd nod and say "yeah..." After a few of these nods, I looked up at her and asked, "Oh, you know where I'm going with this?" "No," she said. "I've just been saying 'yeah.'" This made us both laugh weirdly hard, and by the time we were finished laughing, we were in line to order and the story had evaporated unfinished.

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